Forever is a long time Song Lyrics- Halsey

I spent a long time
Watering a plant made out of plastic
And I curse the ground for growing green
I spent a long time
Substituting honest with sarcastic
And I curse my tongue for being mean
Weightless, breathless restitute
Motionless and absolute
He cut me open
Sucked the poison from an aging wound
Now 50,000 war cadets
Would cower at this small brunette
To my surprise not six feet high
Would reach and grab the moon if I should ask
Or just imply that I wanted a bit more light
So I could look inside his eyes
And get the colors just right
Just right, just right
Just
Build love, build God, build provinces
Build calluses, break promises
'Cause I could never hold a perfect thing
And not demolish it
What am I thinking? What does this mean?
How could somebody ever love me?
Talk to your man, tell him he's got bad news coming